In the past I would wear any type of shoe, including high heels, clogs and other fashionable, but uncomfortable shoes. Now I find myself selecting shoes, not so much for their appearance, but by whether they will allow me to stand for eight hours as I conduct daylong seminars.
Many times we buy shoes, not for their fit and comfort, but based on how good they look. There are aspects of our lives that are aptly described by the shoe analogy. We see a nice looking pair of (currently stylish) shoes. We ask to try them on and find that the store is out of that particular style in our size. We may insist that they bring another size and we try to make that size work because we really want those shoes NOW! Or, perhaps the store may have them in our size and although they don’t feel right, we still buy and wear them, regardless of the pain.
Often we may select our friends, our relationships, our jobs or other aspects of our lives with the same mentality. They may not fit and they may pinch, but they look good to others.
Take a job that does not fit. The title may be impressive, the benefits may be good, and the pay may be respectable, but every day we go to work at a job or a company that does not fit. We may find ourselves pinched, constrained, rubbed the wrong way or blistered.
Perhaps we have chosen friends who are too restricted in their thinking, which does not meet our desire to have a more tolerant and positive view of the world. We may even be involved in a personal relationship with someone whose constricting demands may keep us from moving forward with our personal growth. Other people may bind us by their personal fears in an attempt to keep us as small as they may feel.
Why do we do these things? Often the response to that question is, “because they or it looks so good.” Should it be so important to us to be admired by others that we will suffer pain and discomfort in our lives?
So what is a person to do? Select your shoes carefully, being concerned first of all for the fit. Understand also that our feet do grow as we grow older. If you try to fit your size 8 foot into a size 7 shoe just because you have always worn a size 7, be prepared for your feet’s rebellious response.
If you are working in the same job, which you have outgrown and which brings you no pleasure, try expanding it into a better fitting position. If you are in a relationship with a person because he or she (or the situation) looks good but brings you no happiness, find a way to work with that person to make the relationship beneficial for both.
Affirmation for the Week:
“If the shoe fits, I will wear it. If it does not, I will measure my feet and my expectations to determine if my needs have outgrown my former shoe size.”
Have a soleful week!
Mary Rau-Foster
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Mary’s book “Motivating Moments” makes a great gift for you, your family and your friends. This 211 page book, with illustrations, is a guaranteed morale booster, as well as thought provoking and inspirational. To learn more and to order online, visit www.motivatingmomentsbook.com orwww.workplaceissues.com/motivatingmomentsbook.htm
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This is TOO funny. I’ve used this story, almost verbatim, for years. I’m a member of a 12 step fellowship dealing with relationships and when I came up with this analogy, I finally got it. Since then, I’ve used it with sponsees to help them get to the same place. Only I add, that there is nothing wrong with shoes, they are just perfect. But they aren’t perfect for you. Where did you get the story originally? I’m wondering if I read it somewhere and just internalized it was mine. I even wrote about it the fellowship’s meeting in print. I shared it just like night with a friend. Then I come to work and its waiting on my computer. Of course, there are no coincidences. Could be we both acquired the story independently because we were ready to hear it then.